i feel that i miss him. i don't love him anymore but i miss him. maybe i miss the feeling that i had for him. maybe i miss all those amazing moments i had with him. i was reading my handwritten diary. i was reading the part that i loved him more than ever. it was sad... really sad. will i be able to love like that again? i know that no one knows him better than i do. and he was such a fool... didn't care about me. no one will ever love him like i did before. and i'm not going to love him again...

I want to be big and let go of this grudge that's grown old
All this time i've not known how to rest this bygone
I want to be soft and resolved clean of slate and released
I want to forgive for the both of us