it's like noone reads my LJ anymore... and i don't update it quite often. well, remember last year that i updated it twice or thrice a month!!!
i have so much to tell. so many changes in my life. i've changed my point of view about my classmates in uni. i don't want to hate them!!! but there's nothing left to do. or maybe i should just ignore them. is it just me or are they really bad? no! there are no bad people! there are people who accept me as i am and who don't accept me. i'm tired of arguing with them. i'm tired of telling them that they are guilty for the noise during the psychology lectures. i'm tired of telling them that psychology is very important for doctors.
...and they laugh at me... just because i helped the psychology lecturer when she didn't feel very well. they laugh at me because i gave her a glass of water to calm down. they laugh at me because i got 10 for the psychology test. and they keep laughing at me. they keep hating me. they keep being jealous. they keep behaving like a child. they keep blaming others for everything they do. they keep being what shouldn't be future doctors.
...and i'm all alone in that chaos. i'm all alone...

i want to write this poem
i want to share my thoughts
i want to tell the world
that it's not my fault
that i'm who i am
that you're who you are

i want to sing this song
i want to look inside myself
i want to show you again
who i was before
and how did you see me
how did you hate me

i want to write again
i want to talk about you
i want you to know
those pages were for you
those tears were for you
but you didn't deserve them

i want to leave you here
i want to fly away
i want to kill my past
that's still in my heart
that's nothing but
an endless pain

and i want again
i want something more
i want to change my world
i want to love you like
i loved you long ago
but since it's not for me
since i'm who i am
since you're who you are
since i can't be you
since you can't be me
i prefer to say goodbye