it was a long time i hadn't heard starsailor. anna returned my cd today. i couldn't wait so while we were at the bar, i asked the barman to play the cd.
while scott was singing tie up my hands, i was trying to remember what i was feeling then when i was listening to that song... what i was dreaming of... i was remembering a fairy-tale which had so bright colors but now... it has the dust of my past on it. it was long ago, sooooo long ago! starsailor can't take me back there this time, it takes me towards my future, towards A. it took me over the ocean of past, where someone not knowing how to swim would sink. and starsailor repeated those old and forgotten words:
you're just a poor misguided fool
...but starsailor could take no feelings, no tears from me. it just left a question hanging in the air: "why?"

i hate my step-grandma... there was time that the only guy that called me was him. and also my step-grandma has seen me with him once. he asked about him today. how i hate! she asked in a way like isn't he your bf anymore. it's none of her business!!! however, i told her the truth: i don't know what's he doing now. yeah, a simple fact. i don't know where is he. i don't even care. all i know is that the time came... i was waiting for a long time for this moment. he doesn't have any friends anymore. but i imagined a little bit different. i thought that i would still love him at that moment. no, i just don't care. he deserves what he has or has not now.
err, i hope my step-grandma hasn't seen me with my new love. i hate her stupid questions and gossips with neighbours.

the wooden box... i still remember it... i should have read the letters at least for revenge. my brother... how i hate him!!! how did he dare to open my diary and read some sentences? omg, he told my mum everything he read! no! well, some of the things he told were true but the others... he didn't understand clearly and it was more like a lie. how could i prove that it was a lie? and the true part... i really didn't want my mum to know it cuz it could hurt her. oh, how i love my mum!!! she closed the conversation as soon as she could. she was angry with my bro for reading my diary. well, it left me crying sitting near the comp. why? why? why? poor mum!!!