saying "yes" was enough, and i wouldn't be lonely anymore, i'd have a boyfriend. was it my female pride or...?
...i was in my fav. place of city and writing in my diary when a guy sat next to me. "another random person that will begin a conversation with me," i thought. but i was mistaken. he went too far to call him a random person. he suggested to go on the top of Cascade. i agreed (i wish i didn't). when we were climbing the stairs, he said: "you're so kind." "i'll show you kindness soon," i thought and said loudly: "kind? nobody has ever told me that."
we reached the top of Cascade. i have almost forgotten what we talked there. i remember only what he was doing. at first he took my hand and kissed. then he said: "nice hands. people's hands are the mirrors of their souls." i liked how he played with my hands. then he began to play with my hair very gently. i love when someone touches my hair. but at the same moment i thought of something else: "now we look like those stupid lovers who were soooooooo funny for me." then he stood behind my back and i felt that he wants me much. he tried to kiss my lips but i got out of his arms and i don't regret for that. i was very angry about what he dared to do. other guys who know me for ages are afraid even to touch me and he...
i suggested to go down. he didn't want but i don't like when something is against my will. he asked to read one of my stories. i told him: "let's go down a little and sit somewhere, then i'll read something." we went down the half of Cascade. i chose a place to sit right under the sun cuz he told me that he didn't like sun. i chose "this will be forgotten too" to read for him for making him understand what a monster i am. didn't help. anyway, after reading the story i felt free to annoy him as much as i wanted.
i continued to go down the stairs. suddenly i stopped. i remembered HIM. how i loved him before!!! how can i love this one? i was afraid of that thought. how do i dare to leave HIM like that and love someone else. a silly thought. i understood in what a horrible situation i am. i closed my face with my hands. i wanted to cry but didn't work.
"what happened to you?" he asked.
"i won't tell you."
"it's not the same for me what you feel."
"it's the same for me."
i continued to go down. then i decided to wait for him, so i stopped.
"it's already an hour that we know each other. what do you think about me?"
"you want too much. it's the only thing i can say. you want to know me just in an hour while others need years for that. and you don't think you deserve it or not."
we said some more words that i don't remember. the only thing i can say is that he was trying to become my boyfriend. "it won't be so easy for you," i thought, "i'll show it."
and i began to run down the stairs. i stopped for a moment in the place where i met HIM once and had wonderful moments.
when i reached the ground, i began to go slower but didn't stop. sometimes i looked back and saw that he was still following me. maybe he thought that i was going to stop and wait for him. then i found a place to hide. after a while i leaved that place and went back to the place where i was sitting in the beginning. i remembered that i had dropped a leaf from my diary so i looked around to find it but it wasn't there anymore. "maybe he took it," i thought. was he really in love with me (as he told me) or just wanted a night?